Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, the other Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..
In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
|From an IDFFA member - Oklahoma|
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Paddy said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
The only difference between 'ole Paddy here and an Idaho fly fishing angler is the latter holds his whiskey in his left hand and his fly rod in his right. He never takes the time to put the whiskey bottles into his back pockets.
Hard takes, tight lines and don't fall on your a.. with whiskey bottles in you jeans' pockets.